Homosexuality within the Haredi community

 Pink Lady, directed by Nir Bergman, is a new Israeli feature film, currently playing in movie theaters in Israel.  It is a touching, intimate and tragic portrayal of married life within the Haredi community. 

It is also a film about homosexuality.  Homosexuality within this community is still considered deviant behavior and therefore, I felt it was like watching something from a completely different anthropological setting! 

This is not the first film about homosexuality within the Haredi community, but it is the first in which we experience the point of view of the woman who feels trapped in a marriage that just isn’t working.

On the background of the alleyways of Jerusalem, we meet Bati and Lazar, who are apparently happily married with three children under the age of 8.  Bati discovers that Lazar is being blackmailed for large sums of money because of his intimate behavior with his yeshiva study partner.  The next hard-hitting realization is that her husband is not so interested in her sexually. Even though Bati believes strongly in the power of prayer and the possibility of God intervening and changing her husband’s behavior, there is nothing wrong in trying to take matters in your own hands.  With the help of a less religious friend who she meets at the mikveh where she works, Bati decides to try shopping for alluring intimate apparel.  Slowly, Bati acquires more understanding and undergoes self-discovery.

The scenes between all the women, where they talk in hushed whispers about their marital and sexual problems, are fascinating.  They speak in euphemisms, but they are startingly forthright, concerned, and open with each other.

Nir Bergman makes wonderful films about people, their emotions, their problems, and their relationships.  He is well-known for BrokenWings, Saving Neta, Here We Are, Intimate Grammar, and In Treatment (script).

Pink Lady is available from Go2Films.

Watch thetrailer here.

 

New Film by Lior Ashkenazi

Lior Ashkenazi is well-known as one of the most outstanding actors in the Israeli film world.  He has starred in numerous excellent Israeli films, including Late Marriage, Walk on Water, Norman, Footnote, Foxtrot.  With his directing debut, Perfect Strangers, we see his talent also as a director!  This film is both humorous and serious, it is fast-paced, strongly directed and edited, and superbly acted. 

The film is based on the Italian award-winning film of the same title directed by Paolo Genovese (2016), which seats a bunch of couples around a table, and one suggests putting their cellphones in the middle.  Thus, all the participants end up sharing their messages and phone calls that come in during the evening.  Certainly, a recipe for disaster! Would you share all the details of your life with your friends?

Lior Ashkenazi’s local cultural version of the film is full of twists and turns.  It offers us insights into seven friends, all of them around a dinner table, and makes the outcome into a uniquely Israeli story, with secrets big and small.  The film takes place in a comfortable suburb, where upper middle-class friends joke about how terrible it would be to live in Tel Aviv.  They have a real suburban lifestyle and the host of the evening is very proud of his new gas grill on his beautiful balcony, on which he cooks all kinds of ostentatious meat dishes, reflecting his over-the-top cultural milieu.   

The conversation begins as lightweight and humorous, and at first, I thought the film was a great comedy, but we soon discover it has a dark side to it as well. Slowly there arises a real competition among the participants and many personal problems are brought up, including lying about how one’s business is doing, and sharing problems with regard to child-rearing. After the cellphones are placed in the middle of the table, the tone of the banter begins to shift from light to heavy, as some sensational secrets emerge. 

We all live behind a curtain of a certain amount of fiction. I will not reveal any spoilers about some of the secrets that are revealed that lead to more and more complications among the friends at the table. Nor will I share anything about the remarkable denouement, which gives the plot a whole new paradoxical meaning. Suffice it to say that the film is full of surprises.

I really enjoyed this film.  The script was tight and complex – it deals with many issues in Israeli society, including problems of post-trauma from experiences in the army and the nuanced nature of Israel society’s struggles relating to people in the LGBTQ community. It is labelled as both a comedy and a drama, and I now understand why. Freud would have loved this film as well!

Take a look at the trailer (Hebrew only).

Sublet by Eytan Fox

Last night, I had the chance to view Sublet, directed by Eytan Fox, which was the opening film of the Jerusalem Film Festival (which is currently taking place on-line).  Filmmaker Eytan Fox is well-known for his many films, including Walk on Water, Yossi and Jagger, Bananot (Cupcakes), Song of the Siren.

Sublet is the story of an attraction between two gay men. One is young in his 20s from Tel Aviv and one is middle-aged from New York. Michael is a NY Times travel writer who comes to Tel Aviv for five days for his work.  He sublets an apartment from Tomer, an aspiring filmmaker in his 20s. Tomer is messy, whereas Michael is neat and super-organized.  Tomer says he doesn’t want to be tied down to one partner, whereas Michael says that the love of one partner is what makes life worth living.  Tomer is making horror films and says he doesn’t like happy endings, whereas Michael is crazy about Hollywood musicals.  Tomer drinks, smokes weed, and orders in sex like he’s ordering pizza, whereas Michael is shocked at this lifestyle.

There are many things that Michael doesn’t understand about young Israelis.  In fact, he is especially surprised to learn that large numbers have moved to Berlin and he asks bluntly, how can they do that when Germany is the place that symbolizes Jewish tragedy?

Instead of seeing the tourist attractions of Tel Aviv, Tomer convinces Michael to visit the “real” Tel Aviv.  He takes him for good food, to see an expressive and political dance event, to connect with the vibrant and pulsating night life of Tel Aviv (which is weird to see in these days of covid-19).  Michael meets some of Tomer’s friends, and watches as he navigates the city.  What are Michael’s conclusions?  Tel Aviv, he says, is intense and chaotic yet laid back; it is full of contradictions. 

Sublet is an honest look at these two men and their differing lifestyles.  It is a bit disappointing in its lack of complexity and depth.  But as a study of a relationship, it is fascinating to watch.

A Recipe for Failure

The modern orthodox world in Israel has been unforgiving towards any young man who is grappling with being gay.  The rabbis at the yeshivot have pushed these students to marry anyway, because, according to them, the most important thing in life is to have a family and children.  But these marriages are a recipe for failure.  A new documentary film, Marry Me However, directed by Mordechai Vardi, explores this community’s attitude towards this issue.

Yarden Naor divorced his wife when he realized that he wasn’t going to change. Zvi Ben Meir admits that he knew he wasn’t attracted to his wife, but he married her anyway. Some of the yeshiva boys admit to having undergone conversion therapy, so that they could live a “normal” life. These marriages didn’t take the woman and her needs into the equation.  In fact, she was sacrificed on the altar of what the rabbis in this community thought would be the right thing to do! 

In interviews with some rabbis, we see that they are being pushed to stand up and say that homosexual young men should no longer be encouraged to get married to a woman.  Some well-known rabbis in the film, including Rabbi Ronen Lubitsch and Rabbi Yuval Sherlow, show great understanding in this area.  Rabbi Sherlow admits that today he would never push a gay young man or a lesbian woman towards a normative marriage, as he used to in the past. He realizes that being gay or lesbian is not a mental disorder, but rather part of a person’s identity and they are not about to change or deny that identity.  We must accept people for who they are, he says. 

The film includes varied religious points of view, and not all of them offer solutions within the religious context.  Although the film is a standard documentary with too many talking heads, the viewer is provided with a greater understanding of the issues as they were experienced by the young men and women in the film.

Marry Me However is a documentary film, produced for HOT channel 8.

Political and Religious Extremism in "Red Cow"

Red Cow, the new debut film by Tsivia Barkai-Yacov, tells the story of Benny, 17-years-old, who lives with her father.  Her household is an interesting one -- her father encourages her to don tefillin for morning prayers and her mother died at Benny’s birth.

 

Benny’s name, short for Binyamina, draws our attention to her ambivalent attitude toward her role as a female within her religious community.  Another cue, perhaps not so subtle, is the extreme close-up on Benny’s red hair, which opens the film.  This is certainly a reference to the red color of the cow in the title of the film, and already a hint, in the first shot, that Benny herself might become a sacrificial lamb.

The fascinating part of this film is the context – Benny and her father live in a small apartment which looks out at the Dome of the Rock, in an enclave surrounded by Muslims, perhaps in the village of Silwan, right outside the Old City of Jerusalem.  Her father is a leader of a right-wing group of zealots who favor the use of violence in order to stop the evacuation of hilltop youth at Amona, and more importantly believe it is their duty to bring about the destruction of one of the most holy Muslim sites, the Dome of the Rock, thereby permitting the rebuilding of the Temple in Jerusalem.  According to the Bible, in order to re-establish prayers in the new temple, they need an unblemished red heifer which must be sacrificed. Now that a sacred red heifer is found, they are that much closer to their goal. 

Notwithstanding the wonderful photography and composition of each scene and the interesting political context, the rest of the film is a poorly scripted story of a girl’s dissatisfaction with her community (she goes so far as to tell her father that his plans could bring about World War III) and her sexual awakening in the arms of another girl. Her authoritarian father’s reaction when he learns of this homosexual affair is quite painful to watch.  But more importantly, we see how the affair becomes the most important journey in Benny’s life – more important than the religious and the political.

Red Cow is available from Laila films (lailafilms.office@gmail.com).

A Tender Story -- The Cakemaker

The Cakemaker (העופה מברלין), directed by Ofir Raul Grazier, tells a compelling and surprisingly tender romantic story about a German man named Thomas who runs a coffee shop in Berlin.  

He has an affair with Oren, an Israeli man, married with a six-year-old boy, who travels to Berlin monthly for his work.  When Oren dies in a car accident back in Jerusalem, Thomas is left bereft.  He travels to Jerusalem, searching for evidence of his love.  He is a simple man – he states early in the film that he has so much in his life – his coffeeshop, his apartment, and his love for Oren.  Thomas searches out Oren’s wife and obtains a job working for her in her Jerusalem coffee shop.  He starts out washing dishes in the kitchen, but eventually his work expands as his talents for baking become apparent.

This is a human story, a story about loneliness and finding love and losing it.  The gay baker from Berlin and the grieving widow work together in the same coffee shop.  He is very conscious of their love for the same man, but she is unaware of their peculiar relationship.  It is a bit slow-moving, and the dialogue is minimalist.  But so much is told visually.  For example, we often watch Thomas’ hands kneading the dough, working hard, in a therapeutic and sensual way.

Jerusalem and Berlin are also main characters in the film, making the film all the more authentic illustrating how it brought together two men, across a huge divide.  And what seems to link us together across this divide?  Two things – love for the same man, and Thomas’ wonderfully successful cakes and beautifully decorated cookies.  

There is also narrative tension built through the religious theme – what does it mean to hire a non-Jewish worker in a kosher establishment?  And Shabbat becomes a major player – the Shabbat siren, Shabbat Kiddush blessings, Shabbat food, invitations to Shabbat dinner, the town crier yelling “shabbes” to signify the beginning of the day.

The Cakemaker is a beautifully made romantic film, well-worth seeing, a feature debut for filmmaker, Ofir Raul Grazier. 

Family Reconciliation

Saar Maoz is a 40-year-old gay man living in London.  He grew up on a religious kibbutz in the Beit Shean valley, served in the paratroopers, and now works for Apple in London.  He sings in the London Gay Men's Choir and discovers that he is HIV positive.  More than anything else, he seems to crave a reconciliation with his family back in Israel. 

Along comes a filmmaker team, Tomer Heymann (who recently directed Mr. Gaga, previously reviewed on this blog) and his brother Barak Heymann, who work together to create a soul-searching documentary, Who's Gonna Love Me Now? about Saar Maoz.  This is a hard-hitting film filled with both joy and sadness, and much drama.

 

Saar talks about how he was thrown out of the kibbutz where he grew up and his bitterness at the fact that his parents didn't fight the decree.  We meet his parents -- his mother comes to London to visit him and we see that she is trying very hard to fight her earlier shock and antipathy to her son's homosexuality. 

Then we meet his siblings.  One of his brothers is worried about letting his brother, Saar, who is HIV positive, come close to his children.  In an extraordinary scene, sitting in a coffee shop, he is explaining his feelings to Saar, and we see that he has it all neatly worked out.  Sitting quietly next to him, however, is his wife who suddenly chimes in and says -- I am the mother of those same children and I want to say that I'm not worried! Saar's father is old-school macho, still living his triumphant Six Day War memories, and obsessed with how his oldest son has let him down. 

These are just some of the family members with whom Saar must come to terms if he wants to reconcile with his family.  What makes them particularly interesting is the fact that they are religious Jews and, therefore, they are finding it particularly difficult to come to terms with the reality of Saar's lifestyle.

Living in London, Saar sings in the London Gay Men's Choir and we have the delightful opportunity to watch rehearsals and performances which are stupendous!  They add a wonderful dimension to the film, providing not only musical interludes but also a wonderful respect for the talents and charm of this particular group of men.  

Who's Gonna Love Me Now? (documentary, 85 minutes) is available from Heymann Brothers Films.

Kicking Out Shoshana

Another comedy to add to the growing list of comedies produced in Israel this year --  Kicking Out Shoshana, directed by Shai Kanot, currently playing in Israeli movie houses.  Sometimes the most politically incorrect comedy can be the most entertaining.  This film, although obviously lacking in profundity, is an hysterical farce about soccer and homophobia!! 

The story is a simple one -- Ami Shushan is the hero of the Jerusalem soccer team and he lives and breathes soccer.   When Ami shows interest in the girlfriend of a local hooligan, he is punished and forced to state publicly that he is gay, and that's when his soccer fans show their true homophobic colors and rename him "Shoshana".   As a result, a new gay and lesbian world is opened for Ami, and eventually also for his fans. 

 

The film pokes fun at just about everyone and everything -- sports agents, transvestites, paparazzi, ultra-orthodox Jews, breast implants, and most of all, homophobes.  It is definitely an over-the-top politically incorrect film, yet I found myself laughing throughout.