A Coming-of-Age Film

 An adolescent boy, a recent Ukrainian immigrant mother, and a Chabad shaliach, are all in the same room...  This could be the beginning of a great joke!

Rather, it is the beginning of a compelling film, More than I Deserve, directed by Pini Tavger.  The film tells the story of a single mother, recently arrived from the Ukraine, her adolescent son and their encounter with a Chabad representative. All three main characters are complex characters who offer authentic portrayals. 

Tamara and her son, Pinchas, live in Haifa, in a shabby apartment.  Tamara works as a night cleaning lady in the hospital and she is lonely, depressed, poorly paid, and drinks too much.  She is having an affair with a married man, whom she is pressing to leave his wife.  We know the chances of that happening.

Pinchas is a bit of an outcast with the other boys in his grade. When he sees that they are all going for bar mitzvah lessons with the Chabad representative in the neighborhood, he wants to be part of that.  His mother, at first, is adamantly opposed to anything having to do with Chabad and forbids her son to participate.  Pinchas, however, begins lessons behind her back, and eventually his Chabad teacher, Shimon, becomes an integral part of their lives. 

The presence of Shimon, who himself had been a drug addict before Chabad saved him, changes things for the family.  He becomes close to Pinchas, sort of a father replacement, and eventually becomes close to Tamara too. 

The title of the film refers to something Shimon says to Tamara when she asks him why he’s not married, after all, he is a religious man and not so young.  He explains about the drug addiction in his past, and he says, “I want more than I deserve,” referring to the fact that he is damaged goods and they are setting him up with girls who are also apparently not so perfect. 

There is an inherent criticism of Chabad due to its tradition of arranged marriages, even in this day and age, and Shimon himself is caught up in his rabbi’s insistence that he marry the girl who has been chosen for him. 

More than I Deserve premiered at the 2021 Jerusalem Film Festival where it won the prize for best screenplay. The filmmaker should be congratulated for his nuanced look at the hardships facing new immigrants.